How to maintain a healthy level of insanity

[Ravenrigidrider]

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the opera!!

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15.FiveDays In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."




20. And finally smile when someone says shit to you they will wonder what you are thinking!!!!

[WaBiker]

...Um...Doesnt everybody do these??

[Berserker]

I used to work in a plant that had paging, I wish I would have paged myself. It would have been great to stand up, walk over to wall, picked up the handset, paged myself, walk back, and sit down, like nothing had happened.


I suppose for kicks, after sitting down get back up and answer, yelling out who wants to talk to me.

[Snuffy]

I try to answer all my own questions like Does 2 + 2 really equal 4 or who said green is actually green, who made all these decisions

[red man]

or just walk around with a shit eating grin. drives others crazy

[Tailspnr]

I wish I had another kid so I could use #19.........LOL