...........and that's how the fight started.

[Goshawk]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I
take her someplace
expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and
that's how the
fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I
told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold
cream. And that's how
the fight started.

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
to apply for
Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized
I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very
sorry, but I would
have
to go home and come ba ck later. The woman said,
'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That
silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my
Social Security application. When I got home, I
excitedly told my wife
about my experience at the Social Security office. She
said, 'You
should
have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'. And
that's how the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sat alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,'
I sighed, 'She's
my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't
been sober
since.''My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a
person could go on
celebrating that long?'. And that's how the fight
started.....

I rear-ended a ca r this morning. So, there we were
alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You
know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He
stormed over to my
car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked
down
at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And
that's how the
fight started.....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please.' He said,
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can
order for
herself.' And that's how the fight started.....

[druber13]

LMAO!

[Avenger]

Good ones.
A+

[Jayson459]

All good ones there ... Only one left out was when wife came home saying Dr wanted a urine sample .. What does that mean? I told her to go piss in a bottle .. She told to me to shit in a hat ... And thats when the Fight Started...

[boogeyman]

HAHAHAHA...funny shit!