The Man Test

[Y2K]

Bet ya didn't know there was a test........



1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here, I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out Chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are Faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at aslow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudge packer.


Guess that pretty much sums it up...



Cheers

[LagerDrinker]

LOL, i am going to reconsider some of my friends. I think they might be gay. atleast they all pass the cat test, none have pet cats.

[milmat1]

Sheewww!! I Passed !!
Had me worried with that damb coffee one though !!! Because I have tried De-Caf before........

[LagerDrinker]

Originally Posted by milmat1

Sheewww!! I Passed !!
Had me worried with that damb coffee one though !!! Because I have tried De-Caf before........

decaf regular i believe is ok, decaf soy latte or cafe olay or hot tea in summer without a sore throat im pretty sure is flamboyantly gay

[pquirk]

That's some funny crap there Dude. It's good to be a man

[Snuffy]

I drink my coffee black and strong, kill cats, kick dogs, wear bib overalls with a wife beater shirt, got a tatoo that says Die before Dishonor, Got a single shot rifle cause I don't need another shot, but damn I ride a girls bike

[Y2K]

Originally Posted by Snuffy

I drink my coffee black and strong, kill cats, kick dogs, wear bib overalls with a wife beater shirt, got a tatoo that says Die before Dishonor, Got a single shot rifle cause I don't need another shot, but damn I ride a girls bike

What girl and why does she let ya ride her bike?

[Cerberus]

i am man , hear me roar.

[milmat1]

Originally Posted by Snuffy

I drink my coffee black and strong, kill cats, kick dogs, wear bib overalls with a wife beater shirt, got a tatoo that says Die before Dishonor, Got a single shot rifle cause I don't need another shot, but damn I ride a girls bike

Snuffy,,, Your too Much Dude !!!


LOL...............LOL......................LOL