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#1
04-13-2011
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This n' that
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my electric guitar.
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did. Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says, " Dave, that's one of the nicest most respectful things I've ever seen " Dave replies, " Well we were married for nearly 20 years " Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "Fuck that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind" Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up! I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg" A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from? You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn," replies the man nervously. "What do you do, just across the Severn?", "I'm a taxidermist." "What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals." "It’s alright boys," shouts the barman he's one of us. Spent $40 on eBay last week for a penis enlarger. Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass! My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet. What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One’s a superhero and the other is an instruction. Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists? A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said I would like to come back as a cow. I said you’re obviously not fucking listening. Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a wedding cake. I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said I love you. She said is that you or the beer talking? I replied it’s me talking to the beer. The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the second hand shop to get all her clothes back. Hi, I don't want you to panic but I’m texting you from the Emergency room. Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what I thought it was.
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ride safe, stoney. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "some people are like slinkies... not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push 'em down the stairs..." 
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#2
04-13-2011
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Quote:
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#3
04-13-2011
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Quote:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~Jimbo~~~~~~~~~~~~ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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#4
04-13-2011
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Some nice one's in there Stoney.
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' Cold isn't all bad. ' To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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#5
04-13-2011
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Some real good ones in there had me cracking' up....
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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#6
04-13-2011
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Quote:
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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#7
04-13-2011
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Anybody seen Diane lately?????
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#8
04-13-2011
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Those are funny ROFLMAO !!!!!
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#9
04-13-2011
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that was some funny shit..
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Ride free, my brother, my friend.. Garry Gipson, 5/20/10 Ride free Mr. Jimi! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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#10
04-14-2011
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Kick ass Stoney Kick assed
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I LOVE TITTIES REMBEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM
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